Tag: prophylactic mastectomy

Something special?!.

Recently my husband had a conversation with a long time friend who told him that our relationship was something special.  It struck him as a strange statement which is probably why he remembered to mention it to me.  He told me about it the other night standing in our kitchen, where we have many of our chats.  When he first told me how “special” we were I laughed.

Special, what a bizarre description.  We are not a very affectionate couple and we are both very stubborn.  If you envisioned any of those made for TV couples when I used the word “special” you would be so far from who we are.  But as I have thought about this over the last few days I have decided that we are indeed very special.

We often comment to each other that it is us against the world.  Things have not always been easy for us but we stick together and find a way through.  We have had martial issues like many others, we fight, we disagree and at times flat-out ignore each other. Over the years we have faced many adversities and many situations where others have let us down.  It would be easy to cower in a corner and point fingers listing all of them but instead we have accepted that sometimes in life you are just lucky to find that one person who will always have your back.

When I was faced with the decision to have the preventative mastectomy, Frank was my rock.  He supported my decision to have such a surgery that would leave me in a hospital for a week, unable to help out for many weeks after as well as change my body forever.  He did a wonderful job with our girls, dealt with the wild swings in my mood throughout the process, and set me up a  bedroom in our family room.  After 7 days in the hospital the first thing he did for me when we got to our home was wash my hair in the sink and shaved my legs so I could feel better before the kids saw me.  Tough does not even describe how those few months were but we came though stronger and even more united.  Us against the world.

Over the years many have offered unsolicited  opinions about how we have chosen to live our lives.  Neither of us had story book childhoods so when we decided to start a family it was very important to us to give our children something we did not have.  Just yesterday I was able to catch Megan as she ran joyfully screaming from the bus stop that she had won a contest thrown out by the School Principal.  Some do not understand why this is so important to us.  For many years we have tried to explain that no amount of money could ever replace these years or the memories that we will all share forever, but especially since my surgery I no longer feel the need to explain.  My husband and I understand and that is all that matters.  Us against the world.

In the end we are basic people, home bodies who would rather sit watching a movie as a family than going out.  We would rather spend time at the girls soccer games on the weekend and spend every vacation at Disney world laughing as a family.  Things are not always easy but I guess that is what makes it special.  Wanting to put in the time and the work necessary, that makes what we have special to me!

Mark the date

keep calmI was standing amongst a group of women the other day listening to the conversation.  I am not fully sure how, but the topic of breast cancer came up.    Three of the four of us standing there lost our mothers to the disease.  As I looked around another woman close by recently lost a sister.  It is not hard to find someone who’s life has not been affected by breast cancer, it seems in my travels it is nearly impossible.

According to recent statistics, about 1 in 8 US woman will develop invasive breast cancer in her lifetime.  As you stand in a room look around, count the woman in the room. Who will it be?  With numbers like that what still astonishes me are those who do not have a sense of urgency to be checked.  Women who find it to be too much of an annoyance to have the yearly mammogram done.  For many of us the mammogram was useless.  I used to also have yearly breast ultrasounds.  If you are not fortunate enough to have a doctor who will write the scripts together you have to wait for the alarming phone call letting you know the mammo was inconclusive or even worse saw something abnormal. It is probably nothing they say but back to the radiologists for the ultrasound, very time-consuming.  Most of my lumps never showed up on mammograms.  Many times I heard it was probably nothing.  Several of those ended up in biopsy until the day when it was the beginnings of something.

dateI was able to react, to take control of my situation because I was vigilant with my screenings.  I hated it of course but a necessary thing.  I had my first Mammogram at 22 years old and my first biopsy soon after.  Mammograms, Ultrasounds surgeries and MRI’s made it clear what my future would hold.  Because of screenings I was able to seek out advice, talk to experts and make the decision to have a preventative mastectomy before ever having to face any type of cancer battle, thank god!

Complain, whine, scream if you must but make your appointments and have the screening done!  Somethings are just too important to wait!

So where did my money go?

Not too long ago I wrote a post, Sensory Overload, in which I implied my distrust for all of the pink that we all must swim in for the entire month of October.  I made the following statement, Don’t misunderstand, I think it is wonderful that everyone is raising money to hopefully one day put an end to Breast Cancer. But let’s be honest here, would the NFL be repainting lines in bright pink if it was not profitable?

So, I was not surprised to find the following article actually breaking down some of those numbers from the NFL.  (Click to see the article). What did surprise me was just how much did or should I say did not benefit breast cancer.  According to the article only $8 of every $100 spent is actually  donated to breast cancer charities.  

I love capitalism and I love the freedom that allows those who work hard to make lots of money.  I do not love vagueness, ambiguity or implication.  Sure money is needed to research for the cure.  If you would like to donate please research to ensure the money is actually going to where you would like it to go.  Even better call the women you love and ensure they are having mammograms and talking to their doctors.  There is nothing wrong with pretty pink hoodies supporting your favorite sports teams but like everything else in life make sure you are buying the for the right reasons.