Happy (yet strange) anniversary

Happy-Anniversary-si3577dI just received a “happy anniversary” note from WordPress.  It made me think for a minute. Indeed it was a year ago that I started this blog to help clear my mind and prepare for surgery.

One year ago the decision was made. A decision to remove a part of my body that I believed would become dangerous.  My mind was set on a decision that would change my life forever.

One year ago is important in my history because it changed me as a person, I put into print what was swirling through my mind setting the course for what would happen over the next many months.  It was not always easy but ever second was worth it!

One year ago I made the smartest decision in my life! The pathology report several months later proved, had I not made this decision, well nothing is 100% but lobular carcinoma in situ sets forth a dangerous course which would never have been found via mammogram.

One year ago seems like a lifetime ago.  I wonder what the next year will hold?


Refocus needed and received

I woke up fully comfortable with the decision I had made  last night not to have the colonoscopy.  I had convinced myself that my doctor was just over reacting.  I allowed myself to slip into my “victim” mode  tired of tests, scans and surgery. I feel like the last year of my life has been spent in labs, hospitals and doctor’s offices.

Then I read comments from some women whose opinions I have come to respect over the last many months.  Sometimes it just takes a little slap in the back of the head to get refocused.  Seems I have needed a few of those over the last week or so.   I jumped on the computer did some doctor searches and have made my consultation appointment for the end of the month.

How silly am I being?  (not really looking for an answer :-)) I have been so lucky, I know that and I am very thankful! I am also thankful to all of those around me willing to give me those slaps from time to time.

Thank you ladies for the refocus!

Pink Pink everywhere

Every year it spreads a little more, pink ribbons for Breast Cancer Awareness.  But as we are all aware, it is not just ribbons.  It is cleats on professional athletes or bats and gloves.  I went to an office supply store yesterday and felt compelled to buy a pink pen placed on the counter.  My  husband bought a 5 hour energy that was also wrapped in a pretty pink label.  I have some socks with pink ribbons, they sell apparel of all types as well as those plastic bracelets I don’t think there is really anything that has not jumped into the pink arena.  Even the local pet store seems to be “aware”.

I have become a very cynical person in my older age.  I Would just love to believe that all of this money raised in the name of awareness actually went to research for a cure.  Imagine, a future where we would not need to worry about the ever worsening breast cancer statistics, for that matter cancer statistics in general.

CEO’s of these charities making massive six figure salaries, third-party calling centers keeping large percentages of donations for “fees”.

I would love to believe that by the time my girls are old enough I would not need to worry about answer the question that Madison asked a few weeks ago, “Mommy, will Megan and I have to have our boobies operated on when we get older?” I can only hope they will not have to ever know the word mastectomy in theirs lives.

Maybe I am wrong, I pray that I am.  Millions of woman and an increase number of men are counting on it!