Tag: mastectomy

Friendship and continued preparation

Another week begins and the gap between me and the surgery closes.  Still way to far away to do a count down.  I spoke to a long-lost friend yesterday.  We have know each other since we were kids roughly 25+ years and have been through a lot of both good and bad times.  We all know how things happen you forget to call, then get busy maybe get mad that your forgot to call and got too busy and the next thing you know close to 2 years have past. I did not want anymore time to pass! It is always amazing though, no matter how long it has been you can still talk as if it was just yesterday.  It was great to reconnect and I will not forget to call next time!

I have a check list of sorts in my head to run through before the surgery.  Like I mentioned in keeping busy with the scrapbooks, I have a few project to wrap up etc.  I want to go into the hospital knowing that my family is taken care of and have little to stress about.  In my heart I know I will be fine and will only be away a few days but…there is always a but and always a possibility .  I have some wonderful friends who have offered to help Frank with the kids or who have asked what they like to eat so that there can be meal prepared for them.  I appreciate them all!

Some days I look at the clock and wish I could use one of the many magic wands that we have in the toy box and speed up time.  Then again this “waiting” has made me more appreciative of everything around me.  I enjoy watching the kids at activities just a bit more and the popcorn during yesterdays movie was awesome. I guess it is all about perspective.

Tired!

In another post I said I was trying to stay busy but today I have nothing but movies with the girls on the agenda and totally look forward to it! All week we have been running here and there.    Softball games and karate for both of the girls, piano lesson with Megan followed by soccer practice to get ready for travel team try-outs. It was so sunny yesterday sitting out there,  my face is so sunburned!  Why am I always so careful to lotion the kids but never myself?  Not good!

I have noticed that my patience for certain things is growing short.  Stuff that maybe used to annoy me a little now infuriates me.  I have never been one who has enjoyed much drama but now it seems so much worse. I totally do not want to be near it!  The girls bickering sounds like nails on a blackboard to me.  It is like my head is so full I can’t take anymore in.  I find myself just zoning out sometimes not hearing anything around me.  I feel like everyone/thing is pulling on me and I just want to scream ENOUGH!  What about me?

New Family

I am so glad that I started this blog.  Since I was given my “options” (Meeting with the cancer specialist) I have met many strong women.  I am following a woman who was in a very similar situation as myself and is now more than a month out of surgery and doing great!  I am also following women who are fighting cancer, my heart and prayers go out to all of them!  When I was given the options, I was in an office with two doctors and my husband yet I felt like I was alone in a tunnel.  Reading the stories of these wonderful women is helpful to me as I prepare for my own surgery.

Although I am 100% fully at peace with my decision to have the mastectomy, I still feel like some people look at me like I am crazy.  Why cut into a perfectly healthy body?  One thing the blog has made me realize is that I am now part of  a new “family” of sorts.  Like a real family, you do not ask nor do you have a choice to be a part of it one day you are just there.  It is a family of women who are either fighting or are so high risk are doing everything they can to avoid breast cancer.  This family has no racial or religious bias.  It does not look at background or political leanings.

Thank you to all of my new friends for your strength and sharing your stories.